Focus on the Family Community: Relationships and Marriage: My ...

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May 23, 2012 10:46 AM

I am only 22. I got married back in 2010 to a guy i met in high school..we were off and on in high school, then in college we just hung out sometimes, but pretty much called it quits bc he was tlking to other girls while trying to work stuff out with me...then he joined the army and i saw a change a good change. well i went out to his graduation and he asked if we could get married..long story short we got married a couple months later....well i moved out to where he was stationed and we lived there for 6 months, 3 months into our marriage i found out i was pregnant. then he found out they were kicking him out bc of pt problems. sooo we moved back home, a place i never wanted to come back too. he had high school friends and bad influences back at home...well i was right moving back home made him revert back to the "boy" he used to be...partying all the time, lying about where he was...it was getting tiring. well in october of 2011 i gave birth to a lil girl and things were ok between us. I mean i did almost everything for our child while he sat around playing video games. then in december we got in a huge fight over this girl he was tlking to. they have been best friends since like forever, but i asked him if he would cool it and not tlk to her as much and focus on our relationship. well we fought and he left... he wouldnt tlk to me for a week and a half told everyone is was done with me and wanted a divorce..he went out adn partied and only saw his daughter once....he lived with someone else for a couple of days and then moved back...but stayed locked in his room..(we live with his parents) well he came back a week and a half later and apologized and we went to counseling like 2 times. (not enough)..things were ok for a while but i found on his cell that he was tlkin to some girl again...well we went on a date in april adn came home and he has not wanted to be intimate for like a month or so....and we fought about that and he left again...he stopped tlkin to me. a couple days later he said he needed to tlk. Well he told me he wanted a seperation and that i needed to go live wiht my parents. i have been living here ever since then with our 7 month old...now that i moved out he is like thriving i guess you would call it...he is applying for a bettter job and is wanting to see his daughter and spend time with her, his parents do have some influence over him though bc they want to see her too...WHY NOW??? I mean i go through a yr and a half of marriage...i would do anything for him...i have been there for him through good and bad..its been a month and he still has yet to tlk to me...he wont look me in the eyes and he tried to avoid me at all cost. we have been fighting over who gets our daughter and when...its just not fair...all he keeps saying is he made a mistake in marrying me and we married for the wrong reasons. he tells his parents he wants a divorce.not really giving a good reasons just kindof making up excuses. well then i went out saturday night and he found out and? blew up saying i was a bad mom for leaving our daughter at home with my parents...cussing at my friend calling her aweful names and saying i was a waste of time...he is treating me AWEFUL and im not sure why he cares what i do now we r seperated.he was adopted and has issues he needs to work out. i pray and cry all the time i pray God would open his eyes and change his heart..i do want our relationship to work out, but its going to take ALOT of work and im not sure at this point he wants to...im jsut at my wits end as to knowing what to do..

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