These abusers and manipulators: how to recognize them?
For a woman in love, break free from the cycle of loan amortization violence can be extremely difficult. Indeed, it is difficult to predict violence and, even when the situation escalates, some are unable to recognize the destructive nature of their relationship. The abusers are indeed likely to be male handlers who manage to maintain control over their "prey", against all odds. Some people mistakenly believe that domestic violence affects almost exclusively women from disadvantaged backgrounds or cultures more macho. However, no woman is immune to domestic violence and that is why each should learn to recognize the warning signs.
What should I be suspicious?
Although each individual is different, men are often violent and manipulative some typical characteristics. Among these traits, some may find themselves at a higher light in men quite peaceful. Some abusive men, conversely, may not correspond to the picture painted here. Nevertheless, it is best to stay on top if you are dating a man who appears to have one or more of the following behaviors.
- It is extremely controlling and always wants the last word and make all decisions, even those that concern you directly. He often loses his temper when things are not done in its own way.
- It is very jealous and acts as if you have any desire for him, even as if you belong to him. He then justifies his behavior by invoking his love for you.
- He does not like that you attended your male friends and is even reluctant to face your friends and family. He is trying to isolate you away from the people who love you.
- He has trouble admitting his mistakes and has a tendency to blame their faults on others and you are to blame for his outbursts.
- It tends to denigrate you, to humiliate you and minimize your successes. You implied that you are lucky to have a man who loves you as much, despite all your weaknesses. He uses verbal abuse and you often unjustified blame.
- He frequently resorting to threats or blackmail to achieve its ends, especially if you seem reluctant to continue the relationship.
Also note that men who have themselves been victims or witnesses of family violence in childhood are more likely to show violent turn with their families. In addition, the use of alcohol or drugs is sometimes a trigger.
The cycle of violence: a vicious circle
Domestic violence rarely happens without warning. It is very rare that it occurs from the beginning of a relationship. If so, it would be much easier for victims to take their legs around their necks! It is hard to imagine a woman enter into a relationship with a man who allegedly molested the first tryst ...
Generally, the climate of violence comes on gradually and within the couple, even when the damage is done, episodes of violence are often followed by episodes idyllic and periods of relative peace. That's what makes that domestic violence is particularly perverse and that women who are victims often do not know which way to turn.
Promising start
Early in the relationship, men predisposed to be violent are generally gentle as lambs. They are often passionate men, likely to cover their love with gifts and stunning big romantic gestures. Eventually, however, the honeymoon ends and the first disturbing behaviors are becoming available. It was then that really begins the cycle of violence.
The rise in blood
At first, it is irrelevant accusations, often passengers. He does not like a particular dress that his wife is, a particular dish she cooks. Eventually, the accusations are becoming more frequent, more and more virulent. Meanwhile, the spouse is making every effort to isolate the woman. He said he did not love his friends and family, refuses to spend time with them and, if it manifests the desire to see them, it will use emotional blackmail to try to prevent it.
After a while, these behaviors are becoming increasingly important and the woman ends up doubting itself, lose self-confidence, which makes it even more dependent on her partner manipulator. Generally, before violence becomes apparent, there is an escalation of tensions between the couple, often orchestrated by the joint, which turns every detail as an opportunity to start a conflict.
Violence occurs
After some time, and broke the spouse is violent. Violence can be physical (hitting, slapping, shoving, sexual assault, etc..), But it can also be a particularly brutal burst of rage, or some other form of emotional abuse, just as painful for the victim.
Justification and honeymoon
After such a display of aggression, the spouse generally tries to blame his wife to be justified by any means, before any show of regret, remorse. Suddenly, he becomes angelic, kind, considerate. He tries to redeem himself and promised that this was an isolated event that does happen again. If his wife pretended to leave it out all the stops and doing everything in its power to prevent it. And if she listens to his supplications and remains with him, perhaps, the tension begins to rise ... until the next burst, then the next honeymoon.
Who are the victims?
Many women fail to understand how it is possible to allow violence to their spouse. Many women believe that abused women are weak, without character or will. Others believe that this situation can only poor girls who come from troubled family backgrounds and have never learned to defend themselves. The reality is much more complex.
Women victims of domestic violence come from all walks of life and all ethnic groups, they have varying levels of education, it is impossible to establish a profile of the victim-type. Women vulnerable, marginalized or financially dependent are more often abused by their spouses. Moreover, it was reported that physical violence is often when the woman is pregnant, and therefore more vulnerable and dependent. The problem of domestic violence, however, can affect all women, whatever their personal situation.
Why do women stay in abusive situations?
What explains that the victims, women like the others, stay with their abusive partner? The potential reasons are many and often complex. The cycle of violence, briefly introduced above, has much to do, because it allows the spouse to scramble constantly to keep the cards and thus control over his wife, to manipulate it. The woman often has a hope that her husband will eventually change. Yet without help, it is rare that an abusive spouse ceases to be spontaneous.
Some women accept the episodes of violence, as they depend on their husbands financially, or because they do not want to impose a separation to their children. Or because their man so desperately needs it. They never have felt much loved! Finally, they often come to accept violence, tolerance and consideration as the price for peace. Others have a great fear of reprisals, and are not entirely wrong. Indeed, it is the result of a break with an abusive partner a woman has the best chance of being murdered or a victim of severe violence.
For many, it is the shame that prevents them from leaving the relationship. They dare not talk about their experiences, to be persuaded in part because of their drama. Often, they also have no one to talk since they are very isolated. There are several other reasons for a woman to stay with an abusive partner, and this kind of behavior is not a sign of weakness of character, but a sign of deep distress.
If you fear that a woman around you is suffering from domestic violence, tighten them by hand, because it is very difficult to get out without help.
The men, sometimes the victims?
Generally, when addressing the topic of domestic violence, it refers to female victims and male perpetrators. Again, it should open his mind a little, because reality does not stop there, though the majority of cases fall into this category.
On the one hand, domestic violence also occurs in same-sex couples. The victim and the aggressor then belong to the same sex. On the other hand, even in heterosexual couples, sometimes the roles are reversed and the woman is the aggressor and the man, the victim.
Female violence is as dangerous as male violence and it can leave serious consequences to the spouse, psychologically if not physically. Male victims of violence have little recourse to get out of a poisonous relationship, not to mention that it can be humiliating, in our society, to admit that one is abused by his spouse. Prejudices on this subject are still very strong and one can only hope that eventually, domestic violence is addressed women more directly and in turn make the subject of preventive measures.
Source: http://barcampcolombia.com/loan-amortization/loan-amortization
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